An Appointed Time For Everything

So I haven't written in awhile on my blog. So much has happened and I had so much to think through and reflect upon. I can now see more clearly. A friend of mine mentioned the book of Ecclesiates to me and I read some of chapter 3 and was reminded that there truly is a season for everything. I would like to quote the verses that have meant something to me.

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. A time to give birth, and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what was planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to shun embracing. A time to search, and a time to give up as lost; a time to keep, and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; a time to be silent. and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace". Ecclesiates 3:1-8

These verses really spoke to me these past two weeks. I realized that there truly is a time for everything and that everything can't go as I plan or would like it to go. I lost two very dear childhood friends... lost in the sense that they cut me out of their lives... I dealt with anger and bitterness for the years I had "wasted" on their friendships. I felt resentful for allowing them to walk into my life and heart and then let them rip me to pieces. I thought these were God fearing women.. who loved the Lord with all their heart.. who would do the right thing. But we are all human.. who am I to judge. My season to weep, mourn, be torn down and have stones thown at was upon me. I longed for the days of dancing, laughing, being built up and picking up the stones with them... but recently I have embraced my season. Now is my season for peace and not war, for healing not killing, for giving up as lost and for love, not hate. This journey has not been an easy one.. but it has taught me so much and caused me to grow even deeper in my relationship with the Lord. I have realized that I dont "need" anyone to complete my life, make it more fun, more fulfilling.. I just need Him! Its been an awesome lesson and one I just wanted to share with others.

Psalm 20

Each day I am in awe how God provides just the right "word" that I need to get through the day. Once again He has proved Himself faithful and when I read Psalm 20 (since it was the 20th of the month) I was encouraged and wanted to share it.

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. May he give you the desires of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests. Now I know that the Lord saves his annointed; he answers them from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. O Lord, save the king! Answer us when we call!"

I know this passage spoke to my heart today and I thought I would share it to encourage others who might be facing discouraging moments.

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I dont about tomorrow, I just live from day to day.
I dont borrow from lifes sunshine for its skies may turn to gray.
I dont worry o'er the future, for I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside him, for He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow I dont seem to understand,
But I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter, as the golden stairs I climb.
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter, Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining, there no tear will dim the eyes.
At the ending of the rainbow, where the mountains touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow I dont seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand.

I dont know about tomorrow, it may bring me poverty.
But the One who feeds the sparrow, is the One who stands by me.
And the path that be my portion, may be through the flame or flood.
But His presence goes before me, and I'm covered in His blood.

Many things about tomorrow, I dont seem to understand.
But I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand.

-- Composed by: Ira Forest Stanphill

Gossip

We all have at some point and time in our lives participated in gossip in some form or another. We are human and so therefore we make mistakes. However, I am saddened by just how often Christian's participate in gossip. I was taught that the definition of gossip is this, "Sharing information with someone (no matter who it is- family member or friend) who is not part of the problem or the solution." I believe there are many times we need someone to bounce our frustrations off of, to hear us out.. etc and although they may not be part of the problem.. they can be a part of the solution by pointing you in the right direction with your frustration or anger. We all need someone who we can talk to and share our burdens, hurts and concerns.. but we dont need a crowd! Proverbs 16:28 says, "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip seperates close friends." Proverbs 18:8 says, "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts." Proverbs 26:20 says, "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down." These verses are very clear about God's opinion on gossip. I have seen these verses come to life this week. I must admit it is very hurtful to be on the end of one being gossipped about.. but there is nothing we suffer that God himself has not endured. Even He was riduculed and despised by those who He loved and called "friends". If nothing else this week I have learned how important it is to have friends who are not gossips. I do not want to associate myself with someone who just chatters bad about someone just to feel good or to find others who will make him/her feel good. I want to share my burdens, concerns, frustrations with someone who knows how to point me to Christ. Someone who doesn't just yes me because I am their friend, agree with me because they feel they have no freedom to do anything else.. I want a friend to tell me when there is truth in something and point me to the cross. I also want to be that friend to someone else. I was reminded of the verse in the New Testament which says, "For I am afraid when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder", 2 Corinthians 12:20. Even Paul was afraid that is what the church would look like when he came back to it. I pray that we as God's children can walk more closely in His ways and avoid the snares of gossip.

How To Have That Difficult Conversation (Part 2)

Here is the continuation of my previous post.....

6. Be specific. Using specific examples can help a person become aware she has a problem. If it is a significant problem, you will in all likelihood be able to come up with many examples that can illustrate both that the person does have the problem and that it negatively affects her life and relationships. When you use specific examples, approach the person anticipating that at first she is likely to be open to what you have to show her. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Often a goodhearted person will be suprised at seeing evidence of a problem. Sometimes she will even be remorseful, feeling bad about the effects of her actions. These types of responses are good indicators that the person is taking the specifics to heart and will do something to resolve the issue. Even if the person proves to be more resistant, however, dont avoid giving specifics. Specifics can break through the defenses. But if he is invested in not realizing or admitting his problem, you will need to not only use specifics, but also address the underlying resistance.

7. Make the person aware of the effects. Part of helping someone know what he is doing is making him aware of the effects of his behavior. This approach helps change your confrontation from an abstraction to something more personal and real; the problem does not exsist in a vacuum. Often, when a person finds out he is hurting himeself and others, it touches him at a heart level. You are showing him what he is doing in the context of his life and relationships. This might include your concerns about both the present effects and also what could happen in the future if things do not change. There are three areas of effects you can bring up: the effect on him, the effect on you and the effect on others.

8. Request change. When helping a person become aware, make sure you make a request for change. Since she has not realized until now that her behavior or attitude is a problem, she may also not know what to do about it or even if she should do anything. Requesting change helps clarify what is expected and gives her a structure for reestablishing any connection between you and her. A request for change is specific. It also preserves freedom. In other words, it is not a demand; you are aware that the person has a choice. Also, a request should originate from your heart; it needs to be based on your care for and about the other person.

Finally in closing, if the person is aware but sees no need to change this can be discouraging, however you can do some things to help. Make sure you are unambiguous about your concern. You do not want him to be confused or uninformed. Address her lack of concern as a problem in and of itself. Bring up how her lack of interest in changing makes you feel and how it affects the relationship. If she persists in doing nothing, establish limits and boundaries to protect yourself and your family from her problem and to make her responsible for the problem. These elements give you the best possible chance for helping the person. These are hard lines to draw, but they are often the most effective approach. Ask the God who calls us all to help you with the person you are confronting. Remember to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8). A quote from this book, "In fact, there is no such thing as a good relationship without confrontation". Remember that confrontation doesn't always go smoothly, and it may not even end "well" - if you define "well" as everyone singing "Kumbayah" and in a love feast. But even when it does not, confrontation can have great value as a start, or even as one of many in a series of conversations a person may receive over time. One day she may experience a breakthrough. And you will have been a part of that "chain of truth".

How To Have That Difficult Conversation (Part I)

Maybe its just me, but I often feel like I am faced with having to have a difficult conversation with someone. Something on a topic I would rather not discuss, or an area I would rather ignore. Some way or another this topic or area begins to affect me or my family and I find it necessary to have that difficult conversation. The one the everyone dreads. For no matter how nice and kind you are about it, the subject itself brings out the worst reaction in someone. I am not confrontational by nature but the more healthy I become about setting personal boundaries, the more I realize how necessary these conversations are to a healthy relationship. The outcome is not always predictable, but if you do things in the right spirit and with the right heart you can be sure that you have done your best. You cannot be responsible for someones reactions. I decided to write about this topic because it is often easier said than done for me and writing these things out and sharing them helps remind me to practice what I preach!

I have an excellent book called "Boundaries Face To Face", and its a wonderful book about having those difficult conversations. I wanted to share with you some of the information and advice I learned in this book that I found helpful.

1. Take a presumed innocent approach. Do not assume this person is doing this particular thing on purpose at all. The other person may simply be unable to comprehend the problem. Perhaps he is afraid to see it or does not possess the tools to look at himself. In other cases he may simply not know the full extent of the severity of the issue- how it may be ruining his life as well as your relationship with him. Or he may not want to know something about himself because it would interfere with his concept of his own goodness and perfection. You may find that, knowing the truth, he still doesn't care enough to change. Even so, until you know this about him, love requires that you begin with this approach: "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" I Cor 13:6-7.

2. Be humble. Approach the person and the situation humbly. Humility is not about perceiving yourself as lower than you are. It has to do with perceiving yourself as you really are, with both weaknesses and strengths. (Rom 12:3) All us of have blind spots. This is why the Bible often teaches about our responsibility to speak truth to each other. We need the feedback of others to bring light to a situation. (Eph 4:25) So come to the person not as someone who has it all together, but as someone who has also failed and also needs grace and support.

3. Empathize. When you make someone aware of a problem, empathize with him. Empathy is the ability to identify with the feelings of another person. When you become aware of your own need for empathy and kindness, the dynamic between you and the other person changes: "I want you to be aware of ..... , because if I were in your position, I would want someone to tell me.I would hope someone would care enough about my situation to take a chance and approach me on that. That is how I feel about you. I'm on your side, and I know that hearing about this is not easy for you. Hang in there with me."

4. Find out how unaware is unaware. Understand how aware a person is about herself and her effect on others. Some people, for various reasons, have little self-awareness; they possess little ability to look at themselves and perceive what they are doing or why they are doing it. They often have not had many relational experiences in which they had to look at themselves. This type of person has usually suffered from her lack of awareness. She may have lost relational opportunities due to her inability to check and correct herself. You may need to sheperd a person like this into the world of awareness. She may not fully understand what you are telling her. Dont be impatient with her. Another type of person, however, may be acutely aware of himself and his faults and mistakes and may also be quite self-critical. At the same time, he may possess a blind spot. With an otherwise aware person, you probably do not need to say much for him to understand. Another type of person has an investment in not being aware of her behavior. She may be afraid to look at herself out of a concern that she is a very bad person; she may carry a sense of entitlement leading her to think she should not have to be aware of herself; or she may attribute what she does to people and other things, for example, blaming her tardiness on traffic instead of not leaving early enough to get to the destination on time. With this person you may need to not only attempt to make her aware of the problem, but also make her aware that she has difficulty being aware. If this is not brought into the open, you run the risk of finding yourself never able to get into the heart of that person.

5. Be direct. When you need to make someone aware of a problem, the best appraoch is always to be loving but direct. Remember that he is blind to this behavior, so he has no context for understanding it. The clearer you are, the better his chances of seeing what you are saying about him. That is how God is with us. It is certainly possible that you will cause the person you are confronting discomfort or pain. This is one of the effects of the truth: it makes us uncomfortable as it points out a problem. However, your directness can also give life to someone who needs it.

Family Devotions (The Wifes Part)

I dont know about many of you, but I often find myself desiring to start routines, disciplines, good habits and find my husband completely lacking these ideas. He is a wonderful man, dont get me wrong, but he doesn't seem to think deeply about many things. However he is very complient about almost anything. If I suggest an idea to him it usually goes over very well. For many years though I have thought that it was his job as the man of the house to think of these things on his own. One matter in particular was that of family devotions. I thought he should come up with the idea to do them and he should be consistent with them without my help. Recently my ideas have shifts when I received a wonderful magazine in the mail which talked about this very subject. Here are some insights I learned that I wanted to share with other wives/moms out there to encourage them.

Family devotions does not happen easily. You have to make it happen. There are ten points for consideration as we contemplate how to make this blessing happen in our home. First we need to ask our husband. Are you waiting for your husband to get the idea? I am sorry to inform you that you may until the Lord comes. He may never think about it! We, as wives, can share our vision with our husbands. In Proverbs 31:27 it says in regards to mothers/wives, "She watches over the affaird of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." Second, we can set the stage for family devotions. Have dinner ready when your husband comes home so the mood is set right. Third, clean up before dinner. Its hard to enjoy a meal in the midst of shambles. Clean up all the mess and junk. This makes your husband want to come home! Fourth, make it a priority. Dont allow other things, even legitimate and good ones to cheat you of this most important duty of all. Many families miss out on eating together , and having family devotions because they are not even home! Fifth, turn off the TV! Make sure the TV is turned off before your husband comes home. Turn on some peaceful music. Good music changes the atmosphere as you prepare the meal and it gives an ambience of peace and joy when your husband walks in. Sixth, pass the Bible. Here is another secret role for you as a wife. After enjoying the meal and fellowshipping together, place the Bible or the devotional you have chosen to use, beside your husbands plate. You dont have to say a word and this will give him the cue to pick it up and begin reading. You, as his helpmeet, can jog his memory without even nagging! Seven, include the young children. When do you start devotions with your children at the table? I suggest you start in the womb. It is important to hear the Word from the earliest age. It also is good practice for young children to learn to sit still and quietly when requested (this help in church later). Eight, wait to clear the table. Dont clear the table before you have devotions. The atmosphere seems completely changed when people are getting up and down putting dishes in the sink and such. Nine, in your husbands absence you can lead the family in devotions. Tenth and final, morning devotions. To have devotions in the morning as a family you also have to make it happen. You have different seasons in your life and breakfast and devotions will be at different times according to your season, your childrens ages and your husbands work pattern. Having morning devotions together as a family helps train your family to be organized and ready for the day.

I found this article and many more helpful articles from the Above Rubies magazine. Please visit their website at www.aboverubies.org and check out what other great things they have to share.

Pity or Purpose?

Today was rough I must admit. I was sure God had somehow forgotten me. I was sure I couldn't take one more day. I decided to ask God for an encouraging word - something I rarely do. I am shamed to say I hardly ever ask God for something, I mostly expect it. Thinking He knows all I need or want anyway so I neglect to ask Him. In His word He tells us to ask and we shall receive, why don't I ask? I am sure there are many reasons that go thru my mind - I am not worthy, I dont deserve it, He should know anyway, if He really wanted to me to have it He would give it without me having to ask. None of that is true! A dear friend reminded me today that we have a relationship with God and just as we ask for things in an earthly relationship, we need to ask things in our heavenly relationship. So today I asked and I received!! God worked through someone to bring encouragement to me today and to remind me that my value is in Him! She reminded me that I am loved by God and that is all that matters. That is doesn't matter what other people think. He is ALL I need! I have this head knowledge, but today it reached my heart! I was also reading My Utmost For His Highest devotional today and I felt it speak to my heart once again. The title was "The Holy Suffering of the Saint" and the verse was 1 Peter 4:19, "Let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good..." Here are some excerpts from my devotional. "No normal, healthy saint ever chooses suffering; he simply chooses Gods will, just as Jesus did, whether it means suffering or not. And no saint should ever dare to interfere with the lesson of suffering being taught in another saint's life. The saint who satisfies the heart of Jesus will make other saints strong and mature for God. But the people used to strengthen us are never those who sympathize with us; in fact, we are hindered by those who give us their sympathy, because sympathy only serves to weaken us. No one better understands a saint than the saint who is as close and as intimate with Jesus as possible". I was reminded in reading this passage that I must be careful who I share my thoughts, feelings, hurts, ups and downs with. I need to be built up, encouraged and sometimes rebuked.. but sympathy will do nothing for me except bring about self-pity. God places His saints where they will bring the most glory to Him, and we are totally incapable of judging where that may be. I was reminded today that I am exactly where He wants me to be. He cares about every little detail of my life and He will see me through. I can either sit here and pity my situation, my circumstances, my life.. or I can discover Gods purpose for putting me in this circumstance, this life and this situation.

"Lord help me fulfill your purpose for my life instead of having a pity party. And thank you for answering me when I call on you! Amen!"

A Poem To Share

My Reflection

A home filled with things,
A heart with a hole,
A childhood of burdens,
One crushed, searching soul.

A heart drenched with sadness,
A mind full of fears.
A feeling of loneliness,
Eyes drowned in tears.

A prayer for survival,
Dreaming for change.
The hope of a miracle,
Tho hope seemed so strange.

A whisper of Heaven,
One touch of His grace.
A life of forgiveness,
The glimpse of His face.


I wrote this poem today while thinking of so many things. Sometimes things or people get the best of me and I find writing theraputic. Im not the best poet but I hope this meant something to someone out there!

VBA2C

For those of you who dont understand what the title to my blog entry is I will explain. VBA2C is - Vaginal Birth After 2 Ceseareans. Why am I writing about this? Because I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings out loud in hopes of encouragement and support! Those of you who know me know that I have had two unplanned c-sections! My first birth was anything but natural, filled with one intervention after another. Induction was scheduled because of being seven days past my due date (some supposedly magic number that all women are suppose to birth by!) and I spent the next forty-four hours laboring with no baby! In the end the Dr said, "Fetal distress we need to do a csection!" And of couse as a mother who wouldn't want to save the life of her child? So I agreed to a csection. The whole process was horrible from being strapped down on a cold, hard table - to being naueated and unable to sit up to even vomit - two having my baby seperated from me for two hours after my surgery while I was in the recovery room! I hated every thought of that birth.. except for seeing my precious, little baby boy! It took me several years to get over my fear of having another child so in 2008 I found myself pregnant again. This time I determined that I was NOT going to succumb to interventions and I couldnt seem to find the support at the OBGYN's office and I couldnt have a Birth Center birth (due to PA laws for previous csections) so I decided a home birth was the way to go. I found an awesome labor doula who has become one of my dearest friends! She was the best support I could have asked for in a labor. Then I found a homebirth midwife (should have researched her better) and surrounded myself with supportive friends and family and of course a wonderfully, supportive husband! I was due October 8, 2008 but this midwife was not concerned about my due date.. she was sure the baby would come when it was ready and I was so grateful for that perspective. I was treated like a normal person all through my prenatal care and it was wonderful! Then came Oct 11 and early labor begin.. first thing in the AM and continued all day and all evening. Around midnight my water broke and my doula, midwife and friends gathered to participate in my labor and birth. I had a birthing tub there and that was a wonderful comfort at times. It was so wonderful to labor in the comfort of my own home.. dim lights, soft music, supportive friends... then my midwife told me to start pushing (a decision in hindsight that I think was bad) and so began several hours of intense labor and pressure. Finally after supposedly being 10cm and then back to 7cm (dont think I ever was 10cm) and a swollen cervical lip.. I asked (actually begged) to be transferred to the hospital to have a csection. I was in so much pain at that point the thought of being sliced open appealed to me! My husband drove the car and my midwife sat quietly in the car not uttering a word. I could sense her disappoval of my request for transfer. Once at the hospital my midwife and her assistant dissappeared. Thankfully I had my husband, my sister, my mother, a friend and a wonderful doula who stayed in my labor room. Once they gave me the epidural I could finally breathe and of course I was faced with, "this probably isn't going to go anywhere and so you either have a csection now or later". I decided just to go ahead with the csection as I was exhausted and hopeless for a vaginal delivery at this point. The csection went much better this time. They didn't strap my hands down to the table and they let my husband hold my baby in the recovery room with me. It was so much better. I am grateful for that. However while on the operating room table the doctor looked over at me and said, "Honey, you know baby #3, #4 and #5 will be scheduled csections!" I barely could even think at that moment and I said, "yeah I know." Well, its almost two years now since my last delivery and I am more convinced by the day that malpositioning played a major role in the surgical outcomes I had with both children. I am determined that I need to try for a vaginal birth again! I want to birth my baby (if it is the Lords will). I am researching hours on end, meeting birth professionals, talking to previous VBAC moms all over the USA and I am determined to get the best support possible this time around. There are so many things I could have done prenatally to help change my babies posterior position (anterior is the optimal birth position) but I didn't know my babies were posterior and I didn't know there were techniques out there to help that. This time I do know and I fully intend on utilizing all the services that I can in. I am searching for good, quality midwives who can allow me to labor and deliver in a hospital.. that way I am there if something should happen (though the risk is so low) and I can get some pain meds if I really need them. I plan on having the same, amazing doula by my side and my wonderful husband! We really would love to have more children in the future and so if I can avoid another abdominal surgery (scheduled or not its major surgery and involves great risks to) I would rather that. I am praying that God will give me another child in the near future and that I will have a healthy pregnancy, an anterior positioned baby and a natural, vaginal birth! I know He can if it His will. If it is not His will I resign myself to knowing that I will have done the best that I could do. Though I am not pregnant yet this weighs heavily on my mind and heart. Please pray for me and with me for a my future birth to be a natural one! Thanks for listening to my story and my heart!

Homeschooling: My Conviction or My Obligation?

As I began my first day of homeschooling for the first grade level yesterday, my mind began to ponder.. "Why am I homeschooling?" A good friend of mine listened to me think through this out loud and then asked me a very thought provoking question, "Is this your conviction?" This one, simple question became the starting point for more reading, more studying and more soul searching. What is the definition of conviction? It is an unshakable belief in something without need for proof or evidence. What is obligation? Obligated means- caused by law or conscience to follow a certain course. So why do I homeschool? To sum it up simply, I homeschool because I feel that Gods Word has revealed to me that this is His will for our family at this time. That is not to say that God might not reveal another plan at another time, but for now I have an unshakable belief that this is Gods will for our family. On the other hand, I also feel obligated to fulfill my role as a parent as best I can, according to Gods Word. So I think I homeschool out of obligation (a good kind) and conviction. This is a conviction for me and will not be for everyone. God speaks to us all individually and calls us all to different things. I do not write this with any condemnation towards those who send their children to school. I am just writing this to share my thoughts aloud and to encourage other homeschool families to search their souls for why they homeschool.
Homeschooling holds up a mirror to my life like nothing else will. It doesn't take long before parents not only identify areas needing change and development in their children, but they begin to see their own personal weaknesses. Homeschooling is teaching me something that came as a suprise: the process of preparing my arrows begins with preparing my own heart and dealing with my own weaknesses. I have realized that my character is being developed in many more ways than I ever imagined it would be. I dont like coming face-to-face with my own character flaws, but if I really want to be effective in raising my children for the Lord, then I am going to have to go through the pain of seeing my own shortcomings and making the necessary changes. I am learning patience, diligence, resourcefulness, orderliness, availability, attentiveness, creativity, dependibility, determination, endurance, faith, flexibility, initiative, love, obedience, responsibility, thoroughness and so many other good things. The scripture that God has placed on my heart is this, "Fix these words of Mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, and when you lie down and when you get up." Deut 11:18-19
I thought homeschooling would be good training for my children (and it is) but it turns out that homeschooling is the best training for me!

A Poem of Encouragement

I found this poem while I was reading a book and I found it encouraging and thought I would share with others....

Fine china, crystal stemware, my tables never grace,
But Bibles, pens, and paper more often fill the place.

No art prints from the masters my kitchen walls will know;
Instead, a chalkboard showing where the commas ought to go.

My livingroom is far from new; its furniture shows wear,
But that can't hinder talk of God when oft we gather there.

Preparing dinner can teach math- my little ones are able;
To learn about the "sets" of things, while setting the kitchen table.

We weave our life and learning together day by day,
Avoiding fads of culture and every worldly way.

To homeschool isn't easy, But when our life is done,
We want to see our family there and hear God say, "Well done."

By- Laurie Rustick

Reflections on my thoughts today....

It is our expectation that leads us to our depression. He said He would always be there, that He would never leave or forsake me, and that He would never give me more than I could handle. If everything were as smooth as ice cream, life would be boring. We would never grow and never appreciate life to its fullest. I was reminded of Phil 4:11-13 which says, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

So today I ponder what I am thankful for and why I am content and this why...

I have a wonderful, amazing husband and two beautiful blessings from heaven that are the joys of our lives. We pray God blesses us with more.

I have the pleasure of sweet cuddles from chubby little arms and little rasberry kisses from tiny, cupid lips.

I have the privilege of little voices asking me questions, hanging onto my every word, and calling me mother and I have the joy of watching them grow and knowing the satisfaction of having a part of their development.

I have the indescribable honor of feeling life from within my body. If I could describe the emotions when I first felt the little stir within my womb, I would have to make up another language, as I cannot find any word quite good enough in mine.

I have the awesome challenge of laboring to bring flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone into this world, and seeing a little wrinkled face for the first time. I have the beautiful quiet moments of cradling a babe at my breast and stroking the soft, chubby cheek as wide, searching eyes gaze into mine.

I have the responsibility from God to love, care and raise these human lives to serve their Creator and change the world for Him. I have a high calling from God. It may not always be easy, but He never said it would be!